None of us knew what the future held, and we were still in shock at how quickly everything happened, at how the events of the past three days had spun out of control, and not in the direction that we had imagined.

A few of us had barely awakened when the Marys came to the door at Joseph's house. His was the only house large enough for the remaining eleven of us to stay in one place and out of harm's way until we could figure out what to do next. But that morning when Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came pounding at the door, none of us had any idea of what we were about to hear.

When they had finished telling us all of it, about the earthquake, the stone being rolled away, the messenger from heaven, and especially the empty tomb, I think most of us felt one of two things, and some of us felt them both.

The first thing that we felt was, "If this is really true, why them? If Jesus had somehow been miraculously raised, why would he not come to us first, his most trusted friends, instead of these women?

That didn't make sense to us, appearing to women first, because who would believe them? As we discussed this I remember somebody saying out loud, "Do not forget 'the last shall be first, and the first last.'" Maybe he had a point.

It should not have surprised us, really. Most of the time we were with him Jesus always surprised us with the things that he said and did. He always seemed to be going against the conventional thinking, whenever the conventional thinking excluded people, or kept them at arm's length.

He was always trying to show us a world where everyone stood equal in God's eyes-where women and men were no different, where nationality didn't matter, where following the spirit of God's law written in our hearts was more important than following the letter of the law written and enforced by legalists. A surprise appearance to the two Marys really shouldn't have surprised us after all.

The other thing we felt was fear- actually, more like dread. It wasn't hard for us to remember where the two Marys were on Friday-they were standing at the foot of the cross, not leaving him until his final breath.

It wasn't hard for us to remember where we were on Friday-in hiding, fearing for our lives, having abandoned him to his captors in the garden.

When we finally got together at Joseph's house later that evening, we felt like such idiots- the night before, when he had said that one of us would betray him, we swore to a man that we would die with him before anything like that happened. Fat lot of good that did. We left him to die at their hands; but not the two Marys. They saw him through it all, and came to tell us when it was over.

Shortly after that, when they told us it was finished, Joseph went to Pilate to try to claim the dead body of Jesus. After he left we got word that Judas was dead-by his own hand. While some of us muttered that he got what he deserved, all of us realized that we were no different from him, really. He might have betrayed Jesus, but we disowned him.

In a moment of supreme stupidity and weakness I personally swore to God in heaven that I didn't even know him.

So when the two Marys brought their unexpected news that Sunday morning, that they had seen the empty tomb (for unlike us they had actually been to where he was laid), and that they had seen him and touched him, well, after my initial disbelief, I felt engulfed in dread. What is he going to say to us, the eleven? What is he going to do with me? It was Mary of Magdala who had seen my discomfort. She must have sensed my fear and disbelief because she came over to me. She looked me in the face and said, "It doesn't matter, Peter. It doesn't matter to him what you've said, or done or didn't do. He's alive. I have seen him. He wants to see you, Peter; he wants to see us all. He is going ahead of us to Galilee; there we will see him."

I asked her how she could be so sure, how could she know that it didn't matter to him what we had done. She said, "When we first got to the tomb where they laid him, we were hesitant to believe all that we were seeing and hearing. Who would believe such incredible events? And we feared that no one would believe us anyway, even if we told them.

But when he appeared to us on our way to you, he greeted us warmly and said, 'Do not be afraid.' You could see in his eyes that he meant it. He had that look, Peter, that wonderful compassionate look that told you everything was going to be all right; the look that you and I have seen countless times before. It was him, Peter, I have seen him myself. And he is risen!"

Of course, she was right. She was right that he was risen, she was right that it didn't matter to him what I had done or didn't do, she was right that he eternally loves us far greater than we can possibly imagine. She was right, and she has taught me some important lessons.

We should expect God to surprise us with Good News from unexpected people, in unexpected circumstances. Even in my life's lowest point, there was the love of Jesus seeking me out to say, "Do not be afraid."

We should expect God to resurrect us with the love of Christ even when we feel dead inside, paralyzed by fear or dread. It still doesn't matter to him what we've done, or didn't do, the promises we've made to him and not kept, the times in weakness and stupidity that we've said we didn't know him. We should expect him to still love us, because, in fact, he still does.

We should expect to encounter Christ in those we least expect to see him-the outsider, the stranger, the neglected or overlooked. For all of my neighbors are my sisters and brothers, and are made in God's image and loved by God, too.

When we embrace these expectations, then we should not be surprised to see Jesus, too, just as the two Marys did.

For he is risen, indeed, my brothers and sisters, and the risen Christ still goes ahead of us, traveling the road that we all travel, and seeking to surprise us and all the world with God's incredible, inexhaustible love.

The Rev'd Timothy M. Dombek
ST. JAMES EPISCOPAL CHURCH
301 Piney Mountain Road
Greenville, SC 29609-3035
(864) 244-6358
stjamesrector@mindspring.com

Copyright © 2002 Timothy M. Dombek All Rights Reserved.